Once upon a time in the quiet countryside of Kriegsland, there sprang a peaceful people known as Meeps. Meeps are cute little bundles of fur perched on hands that serve as feet, and vice versa. The Meeps live in underground villages concealed under rocks in the remote pastoral meadows. They occasionally pop out of their holes to search for food – wild berries, windfall apples, and root vegetables. Theirs is the perfect communal society where everything is share and share alike.

Pleezed to MeetchaMeeps are rather like the hairy-footed, short humanoids of the Shire fame. They like to lead simple, uncomplicated lives, snug in their warm little dens. They like to eat apples. They like to cuddle together while the Chief Meep tells them how lucky they all are to be Meeps.

Meep Menaces

What Meeps do not like are Troublemakers.

Troublemakers are… different. Troublemakers are Meeps who mistakenly believe that there is anything better than living off the land or hiding in a hole in the ground. Troublemakers are the ones ask dangerous questions like why should Meeps go hungry in the wintertime or why must Meeps hide away from everything else. Troublemakers even have the nerve to argue when the Chief Meep says that a good Meep is a quiet Meep.

Thus, any Meep deemed to be a Troublemaker is given a polite kick out of the Meep hole and sent off to make his or her own way far from the serenity of Meepish society.

Good Riddance

Oddly enough, there are now more Troublemakers living away from the Meep villages of Kriegland then there are Meeps.

Equally strange is the fact that most Troublemakers don’t mind being kicked out of the Meep villages. Okay, it’s scary being away from home. Yes, it’s much more dangerous than hiding away in a hole.

However, it’s a lot more fun.

Once Troublemakers are away from other Meeps, they can be something new and different. They don’t have to live in holes in the ground. They don’t have to spend most of their lives scrounging for food. They don’t have to keep their mouths shut when they disagree with someone else.

They can be themselves.

Prates Ahoy

Some Troublemakers stowed away on ships to sail the ocean sea. These Troublemakers call themselves “Prates,” wear fancy hats with feathers on them, and say “Arrr, Matey.”

A Prate's Life for MeMost human sailors believe that Prates are good luck on a ship (at least, that’s what the Prates tell them). Oh, sure, Prates get grumpy and soggy and smell like bilge water when wet. So what if a Prate can’t tell a jib from a mizzen or a spanker from a bowsprit? Prates can always find the best tavern in a port (by the smell of the ale) or when there is a storm brewing over the horizon (by the frizz in their hair). And what sailor doesn’t appreciate that a Prate can sing 300 verses to ‘What do you do with a Drunken Sailor?’

On sailing ships, Prates make great First Mates.

Fuzzy Logic

Some Troublemakers go to live with humans, preferably wealthy humans. These Meeps cultivate their cuteness and cuddliness. They brush their fur. They put bows on their braids. They call themselves the “Fluffies.”

Fluffy Fluffies adopt lonely humans by moving in and befriending them. Feeling melancholy? Stroke a Fluffy. Are you blue? Hug a Fluffy. If you need someone to talk to, a Fluffy is always there to listen and hold your hand.

Fluffies make fine friends when you are feeling fur-lorn.

Mischief Masters

Then there is one group of the people formerly known as Meeps that embrace their inner Troublemaker. They call themselves Kwirks. While Meeps avoid human society and Prates integrate with humans, Kwirks avoid humans and live with them at the same time. They tunnel under towns. They sneak in cities. They creep in castles.

They hide with pride.

Like the Meeps, Kwirks scavenge for food. However, Kwirks equally scavenge anything that isn’t nailed down or too big for a five Kwirk towing team to drag to their burrow. They like to decorate their dens in a style best described as “eclectic”.

Roguish KwirkThey value things by how difficult they are to obtain. They entertain one another with long stories of how they managed to squeeze through an open window, crawl along the walls above a sleeping watchdog, and make off with the dog’s food bowl that now serves as their punch bowl. They brag about climbing to the topmost tower of a castle, slinking through an arrow slit, and fetching a feather pillow from a baron’s bed.

Kwirks work at lurking and looting. They boast about burglary. They bask in being bad.

In short, Kwirks are the Rogues of the Meep peeps. And it goes without saying that Kwirks inhabit the hallowed halls of Hero-U. They fit right in as long as they can avoid the Headmaster, Mr. Terk, and everyone else.

They’ll Never Meep Again

With all these Troublemakers, the best thing that ever happened to them was the worst thing imaginable to them – banishment from home, hearth, and family. Now, they find their own homes, friends, and fun.

The moral of this message
Is not very deep…
Just be yourself
and more than a Meep.

Dare to Be Wicked

What kind of Troublemaker are You?

Meep, Prate, Fuzzy, or Kwirk?

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